Right Way, Wrong Way, Another Way

One of my favorite Yogi Berra witticisms is, “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”

Figuring out where we are going has become a game of whack-a-mole lately. You think you’re on the right track and then –wham– something changes, and you're either back to the drawing board, retracing steps, heading on a new path, or maybe just pushing forward anyway. I guess it depends on how flexible or bull-headed you are.

I’m a planner, and a planner must be a bit of both. If you don’t stick to the plan (bull-headed), things are bound to go off the rails. But you also have to be flexible and plan for Murphy showing up. So, I do have the To-Do list, the grocery list, and think about the most efficient route to get all the errands done. I have lesson plans for my classes. Schedules for my clients. Self-imposed deadlines to finish a project or meet my mileage goal on the treadmill (a relatively new addition to my world). I like being able to check things off and get it all done. By now, I’d be looking to buy Christmas cards and checking the calendar to determine when the family gatherings will be occurring. For the last ten years, I have done Christmas posts each day in December (ornaments, recipes, wreaths, cookies, books, songs, etc.). I usually start in October, thinking about what new category to use this year. (Maybe ten years is enough…) But things haven't been going according to plan this year, have they?

Celebrations have been rescheduled or canceled. Traditions upended. Vacations moved to backyards. Long-planned trips put on hold. Fundraising and social events moved online as well as work and school. It’s been hard for most as we’ve lost the comfort of the known. And the unknown is scary.

The Olympics have been pushed back a year. Fourth of July celebrations subdued. Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade has been “reimagined” - no marching bands from across the country, no volunteers guiding balloons. And New York City will have a “virtual” New Year Eve in Times Square.

Is there a right way to do all of this? A wrong way? Without getting into politics (I mean it – no choosing sides here), I’d like to suggest we focus on finding another way. You see, I think ending up someplace else is fine.

As I mentioned before, I’m a planner. But when things are out of my control, I’m also a “go with the flow” person. If I’m stuck in a traffic jam, I just turn up the music. When my classes went virtual in a matter of days, I adjusted and adapted. And next semester, when the business department at the college where I teach is no longer using adjuncts due to a decline in the number of students, I’ll figure out something else to do with my Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. No Sunday dinners with the grandkids? Let’s all make the same menu and share it over Zoom. I guess it’s the difference between being a planner and being a control freak. Planning allows for adjustments.

[Please know, I am not making light of the impact of this year on our psyches. Isolation, depression, health concerns, and worry about the future are genuine issues and exacerbated when we do not have control. I feel it too. And I know I am so lucky in my life.]

Taking the "road less traveled" can (with a nod to Robert Frost) indeed make all the difference. Finding another way may lead to new traditions, inventions, and connections. When we are forced to reconsider what we know to be true, the result can be truly amazing. An online fundraising event can be just as successful - without the chicken dinner. We, perhaps, see that we don’t need all that “stuff” we buy. We reconnect with local Mom & Pops and realize how important they are to our community. And yet, we will probably still hold onto some of those old truths and traditions.

I’m still going to listen to Alice’s Restaurant on Thanksgiving. And I’ll probably figure out what to post every day in December. I’ll package up cookies well in advance to send to relatives, and maybe we'll do Christmas caroling on Zoom. Right way, wrong way. Let’s find another way. And in the words of Yogi, “when you come to a fork in the road, take it!”