The Divine Miss M

Bette Midler has always been one of my favorite people. She is a talent (singing, acting, directing and more.) She has been nominated and won so many awards (Grammy, Tony, Oscars, American Comedy Awards, Drama Desk Awards, People’s Choice Awards, Golden Globes, Emmy’s, etc.) She is a philanthropist (did you know she was one of the first supporters of the Adopt-A-Highway program?) She is a bundle of energy.  I saw her on Broadway many years ago– she wore high heels that clacked as she ping-ponged across the stage giving grief to the folks who came in late to her Clams on the Half Shell Revue. She may be small in stature, but she was in control of that very large theater – from start to finish. And that’s the thing I love about her most. She does things her way and doesn’t take any guff from anyone.

“Fuck’em if they can’t take a joke.”
That’s a direct Bette Midler quote. And one that I often turn to. It takes a lot of courage to make that declaration. Sometimes, it’s exactly the right sentiment. I use it to remind myself that I’m doing the best I can and most times I’m doing it well– and that needs to be enough.

I’ve always believed that if you’re not moving forward – you’re losing ground. Stasis is not in my DNA. I am forever taking leaps without hesitation. From roller coasters (I ride them all!) to surfing (bought a surfboard before I ever tried hitting the water) to taking motorcycle riding lessons (failed at that one) and deciding to get a tattoo instead. You want me to be the President of the Junior League? Sure (they never knew what hit them!)

When I decided I just couldn’t hawk another checking account any longer in my position in the marketing department of a local bank (there are only so many ways….), I took a chance and started my own company. I believed I could do it, plus it meant I’d have more time at home with the boys while they were young. Sayonara security and a steady paycheck. Hello to actually being able to be creative – what a concept! When a client would ask – can you do this for me? I’d always answer yes, and then figure it out later. It led to meeting great minds and some of the hardest working, loyal people I’ve ever known. When one of my clients heard that I was thinking of retiring he said oh no you don’t. Come be my general manager as I figure out what to do with this company over the next couple of years. Sure! Back to a dependable income again…

Now I’m getting ready to take another leap. Retirement. I’ve already cut back on the number of clients I have- and I’m getting pretty choosy about who I work with. Even went back to teaching part-time at a local university. But in another year, my husband retires from a job he has had for 45 plus years. Can you imagine it? No one does that anymore. He loves what he does – and he’s damn good at it. I’ve been able to ease into changes gradually. For him, it will be a total shock to the system. No more alarm clocks, heading into the office to work on Sundays to check the mail and prep for the week, or attending event after event.  

In anticipation, we’ve started a list. Things to do and places to go. I saw a poster online the other day that had drawings of all the MLB ballparks. You can scratch off each one to reveal a color version of it as you visit them… he may get that as a Christmas present this year as that is a to-do on the list. Perhaps we’ll go on a cruise right after he retires. (You can pretty much ignore your phone when you’re in the middle of the ocean.) And when they do call him (and I know they will) he will answer because that’s the kind of guy he is. Me? I want to be able to say – Nope, sorry we’re busy being busy. And fuck’em if they can’t take the joke!

Although I have many Better Midler favorite songs, I thought this one – I’m Beautiful – from her Bathhouse Betty album is quite appropriate for this conversation. ENJOY!
https://www.lyrics.com/track/2240646/Bette+Midler/I%27m+Beautiful