46 Years

Forty-six years. It's a rare occurrence. For someone to have worked at the same place, doing the same job for 46 years - well, that's just unheard of these days. But when the job isn't a job but a commitment to a belief in the true, the good, and the beautiful - well, that's a whole other story. 

My husband has worked at Wyoming Seminary (a private independent prep school) for all those years and is now getting ready to retire. The amazing thing is that he also attended Wyoming Seminary from first grade through senior year in high school. (He went on to Bucknell University for four years but then returned to Northeastern Pennsylvania to work at the school.) Except for a brief stint in the Admissions office, he has been the development and advancement person for the school for 45+ years. For those who aren't familiar with the vernacular - that means he's been raising money for the school all that time. 

But wait, there's more! His family home is situated in the middle of the campus. You see, the house was there before many of the school buildings that now surround it were built. (The school recently celebrated its 175th anniversary.) His great grandfather built the home, and the family had occupied it until last July when we moved off-campus in anticipation of his retirement. (His parents had given the house to the school in 1997, and at that point, we were in "faculty housing.") 

His father, sister, uncles, and cousins all attended Sem. His children attended, and now his grandchildren are also. His father and grandfather were the school doctors for decades besides having their private practice in the home. To say our family and Sem are intertwined would be the understatement of the century! 

Now I've only been around since 1976, arriving from north Jersey to a decidedly different world than where I grew up. There were certain ways of doing things - a dress code, sit-down dinner in the dining hall with students at the table, the Faculty Wives Club (shudder).  The school was (and is) all about tradition. Annual events to attend like class reunions and award dinners. Spring concerts and sporting events. Society Day in the spring. 

Fundraising for a high school is quite different from a college - but it was apparent quickly that those who support the school do so fervently. Tales are told (and embellished) when alums get together, and each says the school taught them how to learn and that has served them well throughout their lives.  

Travel is part of the job, and I tagged along. Annual trips to Florida in March and bi-annual trips to the west coast included lunches and dinners with alums and donors. Fun but exhausting back-to-back days. Along the way, I met so many great people, interesting people, amazing people from all walks of life. CEOs, artists, activists, writers, entrepreneurs, teachers - Sem alums are an amazingly diverse group. 

Back on campus, our house was the scene of parties and gatherings. Groups of classes would convene for cocktails and conversation before going off to their separate reunions. Small dinners were held in our living room, kick-off events for the annual campaign, and even a harp recital. We probably had hundreds of events in our house and got it down to a system that worked! Food always in the same place, flowers on the same tables, and since Alumni weekend always seemed to fall on it - the Kentucky Derby on the TV in the family room for those who wanted to watch. 

But living on campus also meant that we were, quite literally, in the middle of the school. Privacy was at a premium. Sitting on the screened-in porch, we said hello as faculty and students went by.  The porch was my favorite place to watch everyone line up for graduation as I sipped my morning coffee and waved - I didn't have to attend! I often wonder how our kids survived it. Just think. Your parents live on campus, know all your teachers as friends and colleagues, and we all ate dinner together in the dining hall. There was no getting away from it. Messing up was not an option!

We decided to move off-campus last year rather than do that and retire at the same time. I'd say it was a good decision. It has allowed us to settle into new digs, set up our home offices, and start stepping away from the day-to-day of campus life. Of course, Shaf is still working every day onsite at school and checking the mail each weekend to process donations in a timely manner, but when COVID hit, at least he had a comfortable place to set up shop at home. 

Of course, COVID wrecked plans to do a "farewell tour" for my husband. He would have had the opportunity to head to Florida, California, Arizona, as well as some places closer to home like Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Boston, and others to see the folks he had gotten to know over the years and introduce the new Vice President for Advancement at the same time. This spring is also his 50th class reunion (which he thought would be a good time to retire), but that won't happen on campus either. Instead, this year he has spent countless hours on the phone and Zoom - in particular, raising funds to convert the family home into the Shafer Alumni and Development Center (a wonderful tribute to him and his family's legacy to the school.) He is also making sure all the information that lives in his head makes it onto paper for posterity. 

It will be strange for him to no longer have to head to the office, check the mail on weekends, or answer texts, emails, and calls at all hours of the day and night. The next time we attend events, it will be as guests and not hosts - how odd! 

Of course, we will still be connected to the school. Our grandkids go there, our son and daughter-in-law work there, and our friends will keep us in the loop. But it will be a turning point, as it is for most who retire. There are lots of unknowns. 

Will we both still work as consultants for a while? Will he get to play more golf? (Let's hope so!) What about traveling to baseball parks across the country (on our bucket list) - will COVID let us do that? We'll have more time for the grands and all of their activities. More time to take care of our Moms. 

But it's probably the simple daily things that will change the most. Do we need to work out at 7 a.m. when we don't have to be at the office? Can we silence the alarm clocks? Will we be able to "work" from home in our respective offices without intruding on each other's space? Maybe go to the grocery store on a day other than Saturday! Will he be able to read for fun again - and cut down that pile of books on the nightstand? Perhaps the chores' responsibility will change - getting the mail, doing the laundry, running the vacuum. Will we find new hobbies? We won't know the answer to any of this until the time comes.

Fortunately, shortly after retirement from Sem, we have the annual shore week at Cape May with the entire family to look forward to. Who knows, perhaps we could stay a couple of extra days…

Neither of us will probably fully retire right now. With Shaf's lifetime of experience, I expect local organizations to seek out his counsel, and I still plan on working on projects with one or two clients and teaching as an adjunct. We both enjoy what we do - so walking away cold turkey might be challenging. But I am hoping as we find new, exciting things to do and see, the pull of "working for a living" will ebb and be replaced by "living for a living."