93-3

No, that's not a lopsided football score. It's the oldest and youngest ages of the people in my life. I'm at that wonderful time of life where I thought I would have more control over my days and activities. I'm "semi-retired," only working with two clients at a time. My health is good (well, except for knees that creak a bit, a little extra weight, and everyone once in a while needing a nap.) And I'm looking forward to checking things off the "retirement bucket list." Then there's the reality of my life.

I had to laugh the other day. I was at my Mom's, and we were getting ready to head to a doctor's appointment. Mom got settled in the front seat, and I wheeled her walker around to the back of the car. As I started to collapse it, I noticed the car seats in the car's second row and, just beyond, Mom's white hair with her purple streak. It cracked me up. I quickly and quietly took a picture with my phone – car seats and walkers. That says it all, doesn't it?

These are the "herd of turtles' days. (A term we adopted when my Mom, sister, and I took a riverboat cruise in France several years ago, and we were always the ones bringing up the rear.) Each generation goes through the same thing – but our parents are living longer than ever before. They are part of the greatest generation – independent, strong, no-nonsense folks. They are the ones who always looked after others, helping to raise a passel of kids, being there for neighbors and friends in times of need, sickness, or celebration. Now they are the ones who need a little help, and it's hard for them to accept it. (My mother-in-law was appalled when younger members of a group she has long belonged to baked cookies for her– "someone else needs these more than I do!"

So, I walk alongside and just slightly behind our Moms – with a hand ready to steady a misstep – as we head to doctors' appointments, a Mother's Day brunch, or get outside for some fresh air. Conversations are always interesting and sometimes far-ranging as the filters have definitely come off! Current events and days long ago. Long-term memories are so detailed, but things talked about ten minutes ago sometimes lost. As abilities shrink, the world is frustrating for them, and me as I can't change the reality.

I keep thinking that this will be me someday. And I vow not to be as anxious, frustrated, living in the past, trying to do too much, or doing too little. But I probably will. (And since my filters are already starting to wear away – look out!) I can only hope that my kids will be patient and willing to hang in there with me.

This brings me to the other end of the spectrum – the grands. Far from being a herd of turtles, they are in constant motion. (Especially the youngest one who is just like his father – a kid we had to put a leash on when visiting theme parks, or he'd just disappear!) They all love to be outside. They are on T-ball, soccer, and lacrosse teams (yes – lacrosse for six-year-olds!) They love school and do well – even with mask-wearing this past year. The oldest (6) has discovered she can read, and the tactic of spelling words we don't want them to hear isn't working anymore. The middle guy (4) wants to do everything his sister does, and the youngest (3) has his own world playing in his head all the time – creating story lines for the cars and trucks he’s driving or the castles he builds.  

Does it sound like I'm bragging? Of course! Isn't that what grandparents are supposed to do? They are my screensaver. They have pushed photos of their parents off the display shelves in the living room. We have stockpiled puzzles, coloring books, games, legos, Tonka trucks, and books (lots of books) for their visits. And they know there's chocolate milk at GMa and Grandpa's house – and maybe a treat after dinner. We love being a part of their lives. No matter how exhausted we are when they head for home.

Can we drop the kids off? Can you take them to/pick them up at school? We're headed to the park, want to join us? Can you babysit? Yes, yes, yes, yes. We don't ever want to say no to spending time with the grands and will rearrange things to be there. Except, of course, for those times when we're taking care of the Moms.

Sandwiched!